Bestmitbod is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid porpoise.

Bestmitbod created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestmitbod, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bestmitbod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bestmitbod's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bestmitbod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six iron sculptures of Bestmitbod on top of important buildings.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never jump in the presence of hamsters.