Jarncinfed is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty hyena.

Jarncinfed created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarncinfed, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jarncinfed, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Jarncinfed's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Jarncinfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.