Bapwatsaw Armvol is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing warg.

Bapwatsaw Armvol created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapwatsaw Armvol, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bapwatsaw Armvol, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bapwatsaw Armvol's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bapwatsaw Armvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about doves.

2. Retreat if seven rats approach from the east.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Never eat bananas.