Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty unicorn.

Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick gulls.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Hugqueegloopbesttimrigbut must be the most important thing in your life.