Wadjan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing badger.

Wadjan created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadjan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wadjan, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wadjan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Wadjan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wadjan.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Always look after injured doves.