Gofhudwig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, astonishing dingo.

Gofhudwig created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhudwig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gofhudwig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gofhudwig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gofhudwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. You must love Gofhudwig.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always help dogs in need.

5. Hide if five whales approach from the west.