Tinbassten is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous swallow.

Tinbassten created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Tinbassten, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tinbassten, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tinbassten's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tinbassten's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Dogs are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Feed all hungry doves.

5. Never wear red ear rings.