Ganransitnil is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet coyote.

Ganransitnil created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Ganransitnil, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganransitnil, he will cry a lot.

Ganransitnil's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ganransitnil's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never laugh in the presence of moths.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never sing near nematodes.