Bidbaststik is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic swan.

Bidbaststik created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidbaststik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bidbaststik, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bidbaststik's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bidbaststik's Holy Commandments

1. Bidbaststik loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide if four mites approach from the south.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.