Sidruttmif Kapdiddid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, humane squid.

Sidruttmif Kapdiddid created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidruttmif Kapdiddid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sidruttmif Kapdiddid, he will turn you into a tree.

Sidruttmif Kapdiddid's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Sidruttmif Kapdiddid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Worship no other gods but Sidruttmif Kapdiddid.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must pray to Sidruttmif Kapdiddid four times a day.

5. Never mention ants.