Somlan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient cat.

Somlan created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somlan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Somlan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Somlan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Somlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Do not take Somlan's name in vain.