Cipfarbap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, blissful bird.

Cipfarbap created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cipfarbap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cipfarbap, it will turn you into a puffin.

Cipfarbap's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Cipfarbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must never eat garlic.