Sandbafkar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthinking bird.

Sandbafkar created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandbafkar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sandbafkar, she will turn you into a worm.

Sandbafkar's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Sandbafkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from green badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.