Flyfomyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, fast aardvark.

Flyfomyarp created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flyfomyarp, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flyfomyarp, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flyfomyarp's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Flyfomyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never feed tomatoes to geese while wearing orange hats.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.