Vabdunmig is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical spider.

Vabdunmig created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabdunmig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vabdunmig, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vabdunmig's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vabdunmig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Put Vabdunmig first in all things.