Bimsidpod is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, loving guinea pig.

Bimsidpod created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimsidpod, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bimsidpod, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bimsidpod's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bimsidpod's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Bimsidpod on top of all buildings.

3. Always obey Bimsidpod's priests.

4. Never paint your legs yellow.

5. Never skip in holy places.