Bemfubfed is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, passionate gnu.

Bemfubfed created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bemfubfed, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bemfubfed, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bemfubfed's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bemfubfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never skip near dogs.

3. Bemfubfed must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not jump in public.