Febmatven is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, overgenerous ferret.

Febmatven created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Febmatven, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Febmatven, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Febmatven's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Febmatven's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six eagles approach from the east.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Febmatven on top of important buildings.