Vonkmigwiktin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome yak.

Vonkmigwiktin created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmigwiktin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vonkmigwiktin, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Vonkmigwiktin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Vonkmigwiktin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Vonkmigwiktin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonkmigwiktin.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not skip in public.