Omtwanbarn is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely thin, emotional
guinea pig.
Omtwanbarn created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Omtwanbarn, he will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Omtwanbarn, he will strike you with lightening.
Omtwanbarn's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.
Omtwanbarn's Holy Commandments1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.
3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
4. Hide from black whales for they are unholy.
5. Retreat if eight otters approach from the south.