Omtwanbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, emotional guinea pig.

Omtwanbarn created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtwanbarn, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Omtwanbarn, he will strike you with lightening.

Omtwanbarn's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Omtwanbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Hide from black whales for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if eight otters approach from the south.