Konton is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, moody spider.

Konton created the Tadpole Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konton, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Konton, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Konton's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Konton's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never bounce in the presence of bats.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Retreat if three squirrels approach from the east.

5. Always obey Konton's priests.