Tifsafflisfasxinnur is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair swan.

Tifsafflisfasxinnur created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifsafflisfasxinnur, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tifsafflisfasxinnur, she will turn you into a snail.

Tifsafflisfasxinnur's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tifsafflisfasxinnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tifsafflisfasxinnur.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.