Volyararm is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, competent dog.

Volyararm created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volyararm, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Volyararm, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Volyararm's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Volyararm's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Volyararm.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never sing near tapirs.

5. Do not drink alcohol.