Goflabrip is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, selfish jaguar.

Goflabrip created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goflabrip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Goflabrip, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Goflabrip's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Goflabrip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five foxes approach from the north.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect three titanium sculptures of Goflabrip on top of important buildings.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.