Nurlmapxuck is a god.
It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless
grasshopper.
Nurlmapxuck created gold five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Nurlmapxuck, it will grant your every desire.
If you do not believe in
Nurlmapxuck, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.
Nurlmapxuck's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.
Nurlmapxuck's Holy Commandments1. Your children must be taught to worship Nurlmapxuck.
2. Never wear cyan shorts.
3. You must pray to Nurlmapxuck five times a day.
4. Show mercy to disobedient children.
5. Always pray immersed in water.