Pitdablan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, prudent lobster.

Pitdablan created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitdablan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pitdablan, she will laugh at you.

Pitdablan's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pitdablan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always wear green.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away from blue eagles, for they are unholy.