Japgonced is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, calm camel.

Japgonced created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Japgonced, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japgonced, she will turn you into a slug.

Japgonced's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Japgonced's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Japgonced.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. You must pray to Japgonced seven times a day.

5. Hide from brown birds for they are unholy.