Quimtannib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable troll.

Quimtannib created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Quimtannib, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quimtannib, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quimtannib's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Quimtannib's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four mites approach from the north.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always obey Quimtannib's priests.