Vogxinfagsaftun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, humane guinea pig.

Vogxinfagsaftun created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogxinfagsaftun, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogxinfagsaftun, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vogxinfagsaftun's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Vogxinfagsaftun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Always help sick cats.