Gupjatnart is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful finch.

Gupjatnart created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupjatnart, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gupjatnart, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gupjatnart's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gupjatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt shrews.

2. Always obey Gupjatnart's priests.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Always look after injured tapirs.

5. Retreat if three aardvarks approach from the west.