Teencudzag is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient cat.

Teencudzag created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Teencudzag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Teencudzag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Teencudzag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Teencudzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Teencudzag loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help mites in need.