Volcibfag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tranquil gnu.

Volcibfag created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Volcibfag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volcibfag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Volcibfag's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Volcibfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Never laugh near ducks.

3. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the west.

4. Never think ill of sick badgers.

5. Do not run in public.