Gatnuttfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, benevolent crow.

Gatnuttfon created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatnuttfon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gatnuttfon, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gatnuttfon's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gatnuttfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never skip in the presence of bats.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.