Dutfidrut is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing monkey.

Dutfidrut created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Dutfidrut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dutfidrut, she will turn you into a puffin.

Dutfidrut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dutfidrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about cell theory.