Sawteenlap is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, charitable naga.

Sawteenlap created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawteenlap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawteenlap, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sawteenlap's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Sawteenlap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight moths approach from the south.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.