Ladtailbogcep is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless badger.

Ladtailbogcep created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Ladtailbogcep, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ladtailbogcep, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Ladtailbogcep's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ladtailbogcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never sit in the presence of hamsters.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.