Zimladlak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, sage cow.

Zimladlak created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Zimladlak, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zimladlak, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zimladlak's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Zimladlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. You must pray to Zimladlak three times a day.

3. Always look after injured shrews.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.