Dissbestdad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome cat.

Dissbestdad created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissbestdad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dissbestdad, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dissbestdad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dissbestdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dissbestdad on top of all buildings.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Fast once a month.