Jipbasttetti is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, calm cat.

Jipbasttetti created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipbasttetti, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jipbasttetti, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jipbasttetti's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jipbasttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple birds for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt turtles.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.