Bonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, awe-inspiring gorilla.

Bonk created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonk, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bonk, she will turn you into a rat.

Bonk's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bonk on top of all buildings.

3. Bonk must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.