Bonbuncit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest fairy.

Bonbuncit created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonbuncit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonbuncit, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bonbuncit's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bonbuncit's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bonbuncit's priests.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.