Babdussnurt Wapyamhas is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish octopus.

Babdussnurt Wapyamhas created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Babdussnurt Wapyamhas, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Babdussnurt Wapyamhas, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Babdussnurt Wapyamhas' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Babdussnurt Wapyamhas' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Babdussnurt Wapyamhas on top of all buildings.

5. Babdussnurt Wapyamhas loves monkeys, so they must be respected.