Wadlarpzim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise armadillo.

Wadlarpzim created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadlarpzim, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadlarpzim, she will have a low opinion of you.

Wadlarpzim's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Wadlarpzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Run away from brown aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Retreat if five frogs approach from the east.