Pigminbif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, clever dog.

Pigminbif created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigminbif, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pigminbif, she will turn you into a hamster.

Pigminbif's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Pigminbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.