Zakstipcad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless squid.

Zakstipcad created the Sol system four million years ago.

If you believe in Zakstipcad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zakstipcad, he will curse you with boils.

Zakstipcad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Zakstipcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Never paint your legs blue.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.