Futcadpib Dingildog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, annoying aardvark.

Futcadpib Dingildog created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futcadpib Dingildog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Futcadpib Dingildog, he will turn you into a goat.

Futcadpib Dingildog's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Futcadpib Dingildog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry pigs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Retreat if nine cats approach from the north.

5. Never look in ponds.