Taprildidbepcim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain bat.

Taprildidbepcim created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Taprildidbepcim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Taprildidbepcim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Taprildidbepcim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Taprildidbepcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not speak about grapes.