Saknarltan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, compassionate spider.

Saknarltan created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Saknarltan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Saknarltan, she will think nothing of it.

Saknarltan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Saknarltan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Saknarltan nine times a day.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Hide if five eagles approach from the east.

5. Do not listen to music.