Flamyokvad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, irritating slug.

Flamyokvad created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamyokvad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flamyokvad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flamyokvad's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Flamyokvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always obey Flamyokvad's priests.

5. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the west.