Quafnilyok Rip is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful jaguar.

Quafnilyok Rip created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafnilyok Rip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quafnilyok Rip, she will send minions to preach to you.

Quafnilyok Rip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Quafnilyok Rip's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Quafnilyok Rip.

2. You must pray to Quafnilyok Rip four times a day.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help sick turtles.